I remember I was a teenager when I first noticed that I loved encouraging and counseling people. Words and solutions would just roll out of my mouth and I wondered how I knew that stuff. And I mean that out of humble curiosity.
We all knew I was a talker, but this was different.
From talking a friend out of suicide to seeing relationships restored, I eventually learned that it wasn’t just a matter of smarts, but rather a gift much bigger than me, that needed to be stewarded to serve others, so I had to be more intentional about it.
Years later, here I was, with a degree in design, and a dancer and performing artist from birth, working what I thought was my dream design job in corporate, but building a business while traveling the world for leisure, missions or human trafficking abolition. Here I was wondering if I shouldn’t have another degree in Psychology and go into counseling, which I admired. I had already launched the first phase of Tribal Marks, so I launched my Passion Barre and Karingah studio instead – A boutique, wellness, dance and fitness lounge of sorts.
My sole purpose was to create a place for people to gather and help them solve a broader problem of health, fitness and lifestyle while I targeted a deeper problem – ever since I discovered that the 80% of the inner dialogue of the average person was sheer torment or just simply disempowering.
So I took the name of the Think Again blog idea I had started and brought the conversations to our post workout cool down sessions and our entire Santu Stretch class technique.
Some clients told me they were getting breakthroughs they hadn’t gotten from their therapists or renowned psychiatrists. I was humbled.
Then clients started to audaciously share with me that they were really coming for the talk! The nerve, haha! And could I create CDs or something to take home? I don’t know why I didn’t think of the podcast medium back then.
So far, I had interwoven my speaking with all my activities along with life coaching and mentoring. And they really were a great synergy.
Keep in mind that as a performer and people person I have no stage fright, and have performed in front of thousands of people numerous times, and I serve well with video and television.
But I was facing an image block when it came to extracting my life into solely speaking for this specific purpose, in front of a large audience – as I knew I was called to. But I didn’t realize it then. It tripped me up even though it was my dream.
So moving on – the day I finally decided to honor our tribe’s request and I went into production – my dad passed away! I’m pretty sure I had a brain block that lasted a couple of years because those recordings just sat there, and major life events kept rolling in. But as they wore off I was pretty shocked to discover what remained – that I myself was apparently terrified to simply speak.
Not because I couldn’t or didn’t have experience, but because I was in fact tolerating a specific type of fear and shame, or perhaps what is commonly being described now as Imposter Syndrome!
Have you heard of it or experienced it?
Or perhaps just a self-sabotaging fear of stepping out, especially when you even have successes and wins to build upon? I mean we aren’t meant to be defined by our wins or losses anyway. We are, and have to be defined by something bigger. But fear, shame or intimidation don’t care about wins and losses. The focus is simply to annihilate in whatever area it is permitted.
I mean I was I was floored at how long it took for me to catch it in this area! But I’m grateful to be here, armed with more insights to share.
You may have heard me mention the new Think Again and Be Podcast coming up.
And to be honest, I’m still freaking out as I take each next step, but that’s how these things go sometimes.
And that is always a key strategy in overcoming fear.
Just move forward anyway. Your feelings will catch up.
Invest in learning and trusting in greater principles than your temporary feelings, then practice again and again.
I have to choose generosity and faithfulness over feelings. Yup, no trendy buzz words. Just good ol’ principles because you are worth it.
I’ll be sure to share the official Think Again & Be Podcast, scheduled to launch 3/7/21, and I’m so looking forward to equipping you and our tribe with joy, empowering insights, thinking strategies and inspired rants for your heart, faith, creativity, mission, family, culture, functional health/wellness and lifestyle.
I want you to Get your hopes up!
So what do you think? Did you experience this type of fraud-like fear before? Even in areas where you’ve experienced some success? What are your overcoming strategies?
Leave me a comment below.
Signing off-
“Do something incredible for your heart and continue to intentionally get your hopes up by expanding your capacity for more.
It is VITAL that we train our hearts and minds to choose living thoughts and respond to setbacks by daring to increase our expectation beyond the hope we had even before the setback. Our hearts have authority in our lives and we must not relinquish it to fear and toxicity”
