That moment you came to the profound revelation that you’ve been playing small. How did it feel?
And not because you truly or solely value small and know that you are called to “small”. That’s a whole different meaning altogether.
Not because you’re absolutely thrilled only with intimacy and everything that comes from it but because you have been afraid of big.
And that you Just. Have. a. Latent. Fear. of. REJECTION
– and you like total control, safety and certainty. If you can’t control the outcome of going big, plus humbly learn through the details in the journey, then you can’t even think beyond your SELF.
What? But you’ve been doing small with all your might, sacrificing, performing, and might even be burnt out under the illusion that things should be smooth since it’s all within your capacity. ‘Cause you probably do it all yourself and you’re proud of that. Because you’re so talented and resourceful.
And you should be, but help and rest are not a four letter word – well actually they are – but they’re not dirty.
So far, you haven’t even been able to focus on the other principles of success, because what you focus on, you become. You think you have. But you’ve been conditioned to succeed, but to succeed and avoid failure at all cost. And there’s the cost. The limitation and the loss to those who would otherwise be impacted by your CALL.
And what’s on the other side of failure? Well we just never go there – you don’t want to know.
So there goes the freedom and there lies the fear – not because of lies but the over-emphasis of some things in your mind over others (focus); and certainly the lack of affirmation and reassurance that produces RESILIENCE. Or perhaps some trauma that ultimately set you up with this snare and fear of rejection and insecurity. The fear of those who lurk in the BIG and actually in the small too. All the ones you’re actually called to serve.
And if you only knew that on the other side of everything you can’t control is love, faith, hope, acceptance, growth, maturity, humility, acceptance, compassion, relatability, commitment, acceleration… character and actually succeeding then perhaps you might have been open to “big” a little earlier.
I still remember years ago when a lady told me that where I was was too small for me. I was so offended – I felt she had insulted so much of my process and what I had built. I guess I just wasn’t ready for that truth yet. But it annoyed me for a BIGGER reason that I thought at the time (haha, no pun intended). And I mean of course I was planning on going bigger, I just didn’t know I wouldn’t get there with the pattern of thinking I was operating under.
Years later I awoke with a waking dream loudly saying “there is more.” And at first I thought it was a message for my clients.
Months before that, my mentoring aunty had sent me the same message from out of nowhere. From there on, confirmation was everywhere. I recognized this process as I had experienced this type of pattern with other significant areas of my life. My “calling” was calling and giving instructions. Sometimes the first is simply “wake up.”
Again, we are wise when we learn in context. A seed is small, but it is everything and holds all the significance and potential for that tree that would never exist without it.
The size of my family is small compared to the nations I’m called to yet they are everything. Character is developed in the small and obscure. I’m speaking of the small and contained motivated by fear and rejection.
Small is impact. Big is influence. We were created to respond to whichever we are called to freely without fear – affirmed that we are DEFINED only by The One who calls us, and not the call in itself.
Relax, He’s got you. He created you. He knows why He’s called you to this and that. He knows what He’s put in you. And He is EVERYTHING.
“God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.”
1 Thessalonians 5:24